How to Write the Perfect Best Man Speech

how to write best man speech, writing Best Man Speech

Getting Started with Your Best Man Speech

Who is a Best Man?

Best man is usually a term that is used to describe your male best friend or a male relative who takes charge of assisting you at your wedding.

The term best man is widely known throughout the world, however, in several cultures the customs or duties of the bast man are rather different. During your life, you might be asked by your best friend or a close relative to be your best man.

Being a best man is considered rather a great honour all around. Why not? Who wouldn’t want to assist the groom in several different tasks that you will have to take up every day? From going to shopping with the groom or finding the best tailors in the town. In simple words, being the best man is fun.

However, there is one thing a best man must do at all costs, it is delivering a best man speech. For many people; delivering a great best man speech is not all that difficult but then again, not everyone thinks like that.

Preparing the best man speech can be hectic for some because the writer must be careful regarding the material he plans on writing, this is mainly because there will be other guests at the wedding, guests that just met the groom and it won’t be a wise decision to talk about stuff that might embarrass the groom or the guests.

Creative Ideas and Tips

  1. Be witty and add lots of spunk. But make sure it has a natural flow
  2. Involve your audience and especially in-laws
  3. And not to forget the bride, of course
  4. Spice up with jokes, quotes and anecdotes
  5. Share some real lie experience
  6. Keep it human and funny


it is always best to prepare your speech in chunks. When the time to deliver will come then you should be able to tweak the length of your speech according to the mood  and tempo of your audience. Typically, the structure of the speech should include the following points:

  • Thanking the grooming
  • Acknowledging the bridesmaid or maid of honor as you will be delivering after her speech
  • Reading cards and messages from those who missed the wedding
  • Say thanks for the gifts and any special involvement or help
  • Sharing something about the  moments and experiences from the wedding
  • Lime-lighting the bridegroom
  • Speak about the bride and to the bride
  • Add close to heart stuff and touch
  • Toast

Outline Via Step-Wise Procedure

Always, prepare a first draft and then edit, re-phrase and finalize for both content and the template of your speech. Write down your speech in replaceable chunks but overall you should have the following parts:

Step 1: Content and Language

This is the most important step. You need to decide your tone, manner of approach and flow for the speech. Once done, you will know what and what-not-to-say. Other than this, you will also prune the contents of speech; messages/cards from absentee friends and family members, things to share about the groom, bride and selected others, introducing the groom and the type of bon you guys share. So, this is going to be the key of your speech.Keep your orientation congratulatory, charming, flattering and festive.

First things first; the best way to start off a best man speech is by thanking everyone who is present at the venue. It is safe to add a little humour with gratitude but make sure you are on the safe side, and make sure you thank the parents of both the bride and the groom separately and commend them for raising two find children as well as for arranging the marriage.

Step 2: Beginning

You can start with a punch or a formal note. It all depends on how you set the tone of your speech. You can experiment by being introductory or take off from a hook. In case of a hook, use it a launchpad and take on from there.

Step 3: Middle

This is the part where you will talk about childhood memories, school/college/university days, your buddy’s wife, his parents, siblings and work. You can throw light here on his not-so-known qualities and attributes. You can talk about

Step 4: Ending

Reserve slot for raising a toast for the bride and the groom. You can end with a  quote or a well wish or some punk. Nothing makes up for a better speech than ending a speech with a nice quote, however, do keep in mind that the quote you choose to end the speech with is related to marriage or couples.

Imagine how it would feel to you and to the guests if you quote George R.R. Martin or Edgar Allen Poe. Yes, that would be end up creating a mess that won’t be easy to clean up. To end a speech with a quote; simply put one quote about the marriage and perfectly end it with saying ‘my friend has finally found the person he deserves; may god bless them’.

Step5: Quotes, One-liners, Anecdotes, Metaphors and Punch Marks

Curate a list of all that seem appealing to you. After you are done with the rest of the speech then try and test with different liners. Rehearse your speech a  couple of times and you will know what sounds best and gels in with the rhythm and rest of the script.

Etiquettes of Delivering Your Best Man Speech

The essential etiquette of a wedding speech are to carry a happy ambience and optimistic manner. Be the lucky charm for the new couple and avoid any type of negativity.

Call for Attention

For this, you will have to standup of course. You can keep it formal or be a bit spunky is best to go the general mood here and tune yourself with your audience. If you feel that the wedding has been too long and everyone needs a break then keep it simple and short. If you think that your audience is in for some more festivity than you can roll all if out.

Reserve a Few Friend for Eye Contact

Being the best man, you are the most happening guy in all ceremonies and festivities, so you must have made a couple of acquaintances already within the guests. You will realize that the anxiety you felt while writing your best man’s speech has melted away. However, if the anxiety or confusion still lingers around then the safest best is to align a couple of friends from the audience handy as your whom-to-look-at

Hitting the Funny Bones

There should be no humor lost. Make the best of fun, spunk and pun in your speech. Bring out and show the joker, clown and antic that your friend is or has been. Audience loves the fun part and will take more interest.

Best Man Speech Samples

Examples for Beginnings

‘So, we begin…’

‘Ladies and Gentlemen, such a heavenly day! This very day, [insert date], will always be associated with [insert number] truly cosmic events.’

‘Ladies and Gentlemen, this is a truly historic day!’

‘My Dear Friends, History is being made today’

Ending Examples

Ladies and Gentlemen, let’s drink a toast to all of them

‘Ladies and Gentlemen, a toast to the happy couple . . . to (name: bride and name:groom]: may you live as long as you want to and want to as long as you live.’

‘Here’s to happy days . . . [insert funny one-liner]. . .’

Here’s to the prettiest, here’s to the wittiest, Here’s to the truest of all who are true; Here’s to the neatest one, here’s to the sweetest one, Here’s to them all in one – here’s to you! (Groucho Marx)

We have narrowed down some of the best tips that you can use to create the perfect best man speech. Check out the tips below to know how to write best man speech.

Parting Tips

Don’t Drink Too Much

As a best man, it is your duty to stay sober during the speech. Yes, it is okay to have a little amount of wine to take the edge off but do yourself and everyone else a favour by not consuming too much alcohol. This is because being sober is extremely important for your own reputation as well, downing too much alcohol might end up making you say things you did not want to say or making a fool out of yourself, stay sober during and before your speech and celebrate with alcohol afterwards; the lesser the alcohol, the better.

Avoid Inside Jokes or Contentious Topics

When you are writing the best man speech, do keep in mind that you must avoid any inside jokes between you and the groom and also make sure you don’t bring up contentious topics. Avoiding inside jokes is necessary because these are the types of jokes that only you and the groom will understand, it is also smart enough to avoid them because inside jokes are often crass and not many people appreciate crass humour; specially at the weddings.

Second of all, kindly avoid contentious topics and keep your speech free of any of these topics, this is mainly because these topics can be the reason of embarrassment and offense. Avoid any conversations or jokes that involve the groom’s ex, also make sure you don’t go on saying how you felt when you first met the bride unless she actually made a positive impression of herself when you first met her

Keep it Short and Simple

Writing a best man speech? Good, make sure you keep your speech short and simple, most people are attending the wedding because they are there to take part in the happiness of bride and the groom, so make sure the speech you are writing and about to make is simple and short. Another reason you should keep your speech simple and short is the audience; no one likes to listen to the ramblings of the best man who is consistently going on about how the groom is basically the best person in the world and the bride and groom make an incredible couple.

Lastly, Be Yourself

When you are writing or delivering a best man speech, make sure you are always yourself; there is no need to pretend to be someone you are not, there is also no need to be formal, don’t held back but also don’t let go too much. There are no instructions when it comes to writing a best man speech, just know the basics and pour your heart out and you will create a wonderful best man speech.

Further Readings

Bliss, Dominic, 2011, Being The Best Man For Dummies. John Wiley & Sons.

Bowden, John, 2000, Making the Best Man’s Speech. How To Books Ltd.

Morrison, Hugh, 2014, Wedding Jokes. CreateSpace.